Back Home
by misa.pb16
Summary: One Shot. Post season 5. Michael's first night home as he and Sara go through the last seven years and find their way back to each other.


It feels awkward, yet unusually familiar as Michael walk out of the bathroom. Sara had prepared everything for him, neatly folded towels, shampoo, body gel, a combing brush, cotton sticks, body hydrating cream, razors and shaving cream, the same he used years ago.

It made him fall back into the familiarity of his own person.

For the last seven years, Michael had shaved whenever he could, with whichever means that came. Usually without the luxury of cream, or even soap.

And Sara getting him the exact same product that he used from his teen years to the last time he saw her, made his heart swell in his chest. He knew how much she had loved, laying in his arms in the SS Minnow, through dark hours of the night, her face burried in the side of his neck with the faint familiar scent of his shaving cream filling her senses.

The medical kit had been left outside, Sara reminding him not to do any brusk movement, promising she would treat the gash on the side of his abdomen, with her own medical expertise.

He didn't knew where they could take it from here, would they just talk and fall asleep each on their sides ? Would they hold each other ? Would they dare to go further ?

Micheal's eyes focussed on her frame, Sara sat her back at him, still dressed in her day clothes while he had changed to more confortable sleeping PJ. Her shoulders tense and looking heavy, she was upset. He knew it. And it suddenly occurred to him, that hx could she not be ?

If he felt like coming back home, _she_ must be feeling like her life was turned upside down yet again.

Michael sat on the edge of the bed, hesitating.

"Sara.." He breathed and it was enough to break her.

"It's all my fault." Sara sat her arms crossed against her chest, voice heavy and eyes swimming through tears she wouldn't let fall. Michael's heart broke in his chest.

She had tried, tried to make this about him, about his come back home, she had tried to put her feelings away while she made sure Mike and him never felt unconfortable. She'd kept things bottled up, since Crete.

But now, the weight and intensity of the events were falling back on Sara. Michael being alive. She _betraying_ on him, because honestly it was how she felt right now. Like a filthy adulteress.

Sleeping with another man. The same exact one who snatched _her_ Michael away from her. The one who tortured her husband, emotionally, physically, all these years.

While she lived in the bliss of obliviousness. Jacob and her..they shared a joint account, she allowed him, sometimes encouraged him to go on and do his work, trips that she thought were education courses but were in reality, missions to trap _her_ Michael.

And it felt like not only did she cheat on Michael, but contribued to his pain, collaborated with his harmers.

And all Sara could think about, was back to the day they were exonerrated by Kellerman, back to their wedding day, and she couldn't help, thinking how oblivious she was back then too. Wasn't she supposed to know Michael ?

He did knew eveything about her. He sensed it. He knew she was pregnant, way before Lincoln had told him. Way before Christina knew it. He had that intuition, his brother had only confirmed it.

Michael knew her, he had seen the changes in her, the nervous smiles, the unusual trips to the bathrooms, at Deb's, in the airport, anywhere she could, an uncharacteristical urge to protect herself when she was in danger, the way her sleeping position had changed.

Sara did sleep, in all kind of position but on her back, she would curl on her sides and mostly lay on her stomach, but that night where she took the pregnancy test, Sara had laid on her back, straight, and Michael's eyes had questionningly observed her, the wheels in his head working faster than any said words.

He had known her for months, but did only spent a few with her. They were enough thought, for him to notice her fumbling in her handbag before she took trips to the bathroom, at the same date, each month. And when she didn't on the 13th of that month, or for the week that followed, Michael's head had began to link the dots.

He had told her all that, one lazy afternoon as they lay after a heated encounter of love making. He had been ever so gently, rubbing her soft skin, on the non-existant swell of her stomach, where he knew their baby was nestled.

And she ? She hadn't known. She hadn't noticed how upset he was after the barbecue party, instead rambling about how she began showing and everyone could notice it.

She had blabbered on about having to buy new jeans because she couldn't quite button her old ones anymore. She chatted, enthousiastically, exited about their wedding, not wanting to buy a wedding dress that wouldn't fit her in a couple of weeks time.

Never, never did she pay attention to how upset he was, how worried he must have been. How could she ? Michael didn't knew everything about her only because he had LLI, but because he loved her. And how could she love him too and not make out the terrible world crashing threat Michael had to take ?

"I was so distracted..with the pregnancy and the wedding and everything...I should have known, god..I should have known you were upset." Sara desolated, shaking her head as a couple of tears rolled on her cheeks.

"Sara..you couldn't have known..why are you even thinking about this ?" Michael frowned, worry plaguing him as he reached for her beautiful hand, squeezing it confortingly.

"I was your wife to be Michael, I loved you so much, I was willingly ready to die for you..yet I couldn't notice something was wrong ? We shared everything..damn...how could I not know.." Sara took her other hand to her temple, regret eating her up.

"I didn't let you..Sara...there's no point about blaming yourself for something so old." Michael's insides clenched at the sight of Sara's misery, and he was selfishly glad, that he hadn't seen her grief and pain for him, for, one sob, one tear would have broken him and brought her back to her arms.

"There is Michael..if I had known, like I should have, we could have shared the weight of this...we could have looked for a solution, together, like we should have. Instead I was living on hundreds for seven years, celebrating birthdays and holidays...while you carried the whole weight on your shoulders all these years..not even granted human conditions.."

"Sara...do you think I don't know how hard this has been on you...I was dead to you...and godamn..I know how painful and devastating that feeling is...and I won't ever forgive myself for putting you through it."

"We made so many mistakes Michael...we should have talked about this, but we always wanted to prove we were strong, that we could take it on our own, we always kept things from each other to protect the other, he knew that...he took advantage of our couple's only weakness."

"Sara...you didn't know, it's not your fault." Michael repeated, daringly taking a hand of hers that was placed between her knees as a nervous habit.

"Michael how could I ? How could I have another wedding and a frigging honeymoon with another man..while you were battling with your life to protect me...what kind of a wife am I..? God, four years in solitary.." Sara stopped and sobbed, bending to kiss his shoulder twice sorrowfully. "I'm a doctor I know LLI makes every second worse..Oh Michael it's all because of me, I did this..." Sara cried, devastation engulfing her and Michael's own heart plumetted at the sight, why did she sounds so repulsed by herself when all he could do was adore her.

He reached closer to her, hesitation forgotten and pulled her to his arms.

"Sara, don't you dare blame yourself, I left you with a child to raise, alone. I'm proud of how well you've done, I'm proud of you for raising Mike the way you did."

''I married him Michael..I'm so sorry...god I'm so so sorry.'' She wept against his shoulder pulling him closer.

''I'm proud of you Sara.'' Michael repeated holding the back of her her head against him.

''How can you say that ? I failed Mike in the worst of ways...I took his father away from him..I let his father go..I let his father be tortured while I lived peacefully.'' Sara cried.

''You didn't, you didn't. Nothing has gone wrong because of you, you've done nothing wrong Sara, you did your best for Mike, you gave him everything you could.'' Michael assured tearfully, the fierce motherly strenght radiating from her when Poséidon had taken their son was proof of it.

''How can you even look at me ? We were married, we shared a bed oh god...Michael I've betrayed you...I feel so dirty...'' Sara wept heartbreakingly, slipping away from his embrace and putting a distance between him and her as she cried.

Michael remained taken aback, how could he make this right ?

Seeing her shoulders rack with her soft cries tore him apart, Michael would do anything for her to believe she was anything from dirty.

Without any more reluctance, he turned her cheek towards him and seized her lips in a heartwarming kiss.

Surprised, Sara let out a muffled whimper and kissed him back, her lips taking in the taste, relieving the familiarity of the feels of his lips against hers. Sara broke the kiss, panting for air and her brown eyes met Michael's azur orbs. She hadn't ever been more certain she was doing _right_, then when she was kissing this man.

Their lips met again, in a more heated dance as Sara soundly moaned and pressed her tongue against his teeth, seeking for entrance. She wanted Michael to kiss her so much, to kiss her till her lips were bruised and she no longer remembered the digustingly _wrong_ feeling of Jacob's kisses.

Their tongues met in a synchronised dance as hands found faces and caressed, rubbed skins and hairs.

Engrossed in desire and passion, and want that was an almost unbearable craving, a 7 years long craving, their frames slowly bent towards the bed and that's when Michael grunted a hand coming to his abdomen.

"I'm sorry..I'm sorry." Sara panickedly apologised, looking towards his wound and almost intinctively pulling his shirt off before Michael's hand clapsed hers midway. "It's fine..looks like your husband is a little broken." Michael quipped and Sara smiled, wiping the remaining tears off her cheeks.

The frustration, devastation and loss was replaced with something a little less sharp, a feel of nostalgia maybe. God..had he just called himself her husband ? She _loved_ that.

"No getting sneaky and naked Scofield..let me check at your wound, please ?" Her request had made it hard for him to say no, but he wanted this to be about her, about them.

"Sara it's okay." He assured his eyes reassuring her wife's worry coated ones. "Can _you_ get naked though, doctor ?" Sara smiled, absolutely loving how it didn't take them more than a minute to get back to their playful banter of the infirmary so long ago.

"Is that an advance ?" She nervously laughed. "I don't know Michael, it's just gonna frustrate us both." She admitted shyly.

"Well, I'll make sure you're pleased, and as for me, dream-Sara has frustrated me for seven years, I can bear once more." Sara smiled softly cradling his face.

She had forgotten how all this was, forgotten sex was not a chore in her mind that she'd have to get through, forgotten it was even about pleasure. To her embarassement, she wasn't able to orgasm with Jacob, never.. The tingle of natural arousal would awoken at times but her heart and feelings would never allow it, her thought quickly coldening her nerves. And that hadn't seemed to bother the filthy &%&$#*, it has always been about his pleasure, never about chasing hers.

So Michael wanting to sate her when that wasn't reciprocatingly possible, had melted something long iced inside her, and filled her belly with butterflies. She looked back at him, smiling slightly.

"Dream-Sara huh ?" She pecked his lips once and got off the bed.

"Wait, I'll be back." Sara playfully winked leaving Michael amused.

"I don't remember dream-Sara wearing sexy lingerie.." Michael called after her.

Sara shook he head with a smile ln her lips. She didn't have any dirty lingerie, not for Jacob.. _oh_ god, the repulse came again but Sara pushed it back.

Michael gasped seeing Sara back from her dressing, he couldn't believe his eyes were tearing up by the sight.

Sara stood, seven years later, wearing her wedding dress. Red satine flowing as she walked..

Sara took a deep breath, visibly emotional too and held Michael's hands.

"When I was exonerated, the first place in the States I went to was the beach of our wedding, in Miami.." Michael's chest constricted in his chest, _oh Sara_..

"I just felt like going.." Sara locked her glassy eyes with him and shrugged. "Mike was four and a half...it felt so heartbreaking but it was special to me..our wedding is still so special to me...I dont know why, it was an impulse, I went to the shop by the beach where I had bought my wedding dress...I didnt even believe they were still selling it but Michael...when I saw it, I couldn't help but try it...Mike looked at me and for the first time, he told me I was pretty.." A tear fell from Sara's eye even thought a smile graced her features. "And I just, _had_ to buy it. I couldn't not buy it." Michael squeezed her hand.

"I told Mike he was there too, and helped me chose it the first time around, he didn't understand and looked at me in such a cute confused way, it reminded me of you and I don't know why but it made me laugh and I hugged him tight to me.."

Michael leaned in and kissed her bare shoulder, smiling and smoothering his hands over the dress.

The original one, that she actually wore at their wedding was with the rest of her belongings, in Miami Dade, and having left the place in the unconventional way, she hadn't ever been able to collect them.

Michael still remembered how mesmerized he had felt seeing her in the said dress on their most special day, he had already imagined, undredssing her sensually on their wedding night.

His heart was brutally crushed when not only that occasion was snatched from him but the next thing he had seen her in was prison uniform and bruises.

His thoughts were interrupted by Sara's hand on his knee, Michael looked at her and smiled, he had his _bride_ back.

Michael ran his hands along her bare arms, up to the black spaguettis straps of the dress.

"You look beautiful.." He reitered and Sara felt something inside her melt away.

"Thanks.." She replied purposefully with a smile and Michael gently pulled the straps down, Sara inhaled forcing herself to not close her eyes.

Wasn't this the moment that was so cruelly snatched away from her seven years ago, hadn't she craved for this during endless nights..

The loose dress fell away to her stomach as soon as the straps were pulled down, revealing her pair of creamy full breasts and Michael inhaled hard...had she grown to even more perfect or had his memory and imagination failed him ?

Her nipples were perkier, and darker, contrasting with her ivory skin even more.

"Yeah well..breastfeeding.." Sara shrugged shyly, reminding him of the time she had first shown him her bob cropped hair and Michael had to smile fondly, gently running his hands over Sara's breasts with a thoughfulness and concentration only his mind could manage.

Just when she was about to tease his slow pace, Michael surprised her by taking his lips to one of her breast, pecking the hardened nipple and making her toes curl with the tease. He continued with the tiny pecks, tun by turn on both her breast and her nerves tingles with want, she arched into him and with a small smile at her, Michael finally took her nipple between his lips, licking and sucking and making her gasp with the special, unmatchable sensation.

When he had sated her chest, Michael pulled herdress lower, stopping and gasping as he saw a scar, a new one, neatly horizontal on her lower abdomen.

"C-section.." Sara stated obviously, she pulled a stray of her auburn air behind her hair, self- consciously.

His eyes questionned her, darkening with a sombre emotion and Sara looked down at the said scar.

"It was planned.." she murmured as to reassure him and paused.

"I wasn't well Michael.." She said seriously meeting his gaze. "You thought I was strong, strong enough to live without you but I wasn't. I was in such a dark place after you left me, the pregnancy didn't go well, even thought Lincoln would shout and yell at me..sometimes saying I didn't love the baby, that I was selfish...but Michael, the thought of losing you was enough to make me sink into dark abyss, the loss of you was enough to keep me down to bed, not willing to do anything, to face sunlight or to eat..or even live... I gave such a hard time to Lincoln god... And in the end, I was so weak and my BP was so erratic that the doctors opted for surgery, at 37 weeks, before the inevitable could happen.." Sara looked up to Michael's heartbreak filled eyes and she gave him a sad smile.

"I wasn't strong enough to give birth to our baby, not without you. And even if it was a heavy procedure and that Mike came early, sometimes I'm thankful, because my heart wouldn't have bore it Michael..your absence would have killed me.." Sara let the silent tears fall and sniffed.

Michael wiped her cheeks before wiping his own wet eyes. "I'm so sorry Sara..god I'm so sorry..." Michael kissed her lips, pecking apologitically while he ever so tenderly stroked her cesarean scar. "I would have given anything to be there, I tortured myself with images and imaginations of our son's birth for weeks, years..."

Sara smiled composing herself and kissing him back. "Well, you'll just have to promise me you're there for the next one." Sara cockily whispered and Michael chuckled sniffing, he loved how they could get back to flirting banter right after heartbreaking conversations.

"Whoa..next one ? We haven't even had our first wedding night yet and you're already planning for more children ?" Sara laughed softly at the familiarity of the conversation and pulled him closer, if it was possible, inhaling his homely scent.

"I knew you were going to notice those wrinkles on my face, don't go on apparences, I'm not that old Scofield, I can still be good at making babies.." Sara boldly kissed him, nipping at his bottom lip and Michael laughed pulling back.

"I never doubted you weren't good at making them, and what's wrong with your apparence, I don't see a single wrinkle there.." Michael gently scolded the last sentence, chastying her for demeaning her beautiful looks.

Sara bit her lip, loving the re-found complicity between them and smirking. "You're a little greyer though ? Sure you can still be good ?" Sara teased on gently smothering her fingers over his shaven scalp.

Michael caught her hand and raised an eyebrow. "Let me get back into shape and I'll show you, how good I am.." He whispered near her ear and Sara closed her eyes loving the sensuality of his voice.

"Let me give you a little trailer though, Doctor.." Sara giggled but as she felt him fingers..right _there_..where she needed them, she gasped and silently hissed in pleasure.

They lay afterwards, Michael spooning her from behind, she holding onto hid precioud hand and he pecking the gently skin on her back, right below her blue ink carved crane. He had gasped at discovering it right after her third orgasm, his tongue still coated with the sweet taste of her as he cradled the skin with his skilled fingers in awe.

"tattoo looks fresh...?" She had breathlessly quipped and he had laughed crashing his lips against hers.

"When did you get it ?" Michael now asked more seriously.

Sara had her eyes closed, feeling her heart swell with completeness and love, she dared not sleep to wake up and find everything was yet another heart shattering dream.

"A week after your fourth..." Sara stopped. "Well two weeks after our fourth wedding anniversary..." It wasn't hard for Michael to do the maths and he knew she was speaking about the grief she still carried in her heart every minute of the seven long years.

"I hesitated with an origami flower, but seeing as I had the real thing but lost all those cranes you sent me for our rendez vous in Gila, I opted for the second option. Lincoln was mad, he said you would have hated it.." Michael chuckled.

"I hate the thought of something damaging your perfect skin but I think in this spot, it was already done." Michael rubbed a finger over her still edgy burn scar from Dade.

"I like it..I think I love it..".

Michael pressed his lips against her inked crane again, and Sara could feel his smile against her skin.

"Mike does too, Lincoln tells him all those things about familial obligation and looking out for your loved ones, he says he'll get one too someday, althought I hardly believe that part." Sara laughs and Michael kisses her neck.

"You think he'll be okay with all this ?" Michael asked, fearful about the relationship he had to form with his son.

Sara squeezed him forearms tighter. "He will, he ideolise you Michael, I've been telling him about you since..since he wasn't even born." Michael kisses her hair this time, lingering there, gratefully.

"We'll be okay.." Sara assures. "You realise we haven't been able to sleep and spent the whole night talking.." Michael said making Sara smile.

"I think we did a little more than that.." she chuckled, sad she wasn't even able to reciprocate his advances because of the straining on his lower abdomen, she wouldn't have those stitches pop open and risk losing her husband just as he finally was back to her.

"Well, either way I don't think our nights are gonna be filled with sleep for a long while, ." He murmured and Sara laughed softly.

The morning sunshine was peeping from the curtains, yet they were too thrilled and exited to sleep...


End file.
